Q. How can I deal with feelings of worthlessness?
A. Self-worth is based on remembering at all times who you truly are.
Forgetfulness of who you truly are translates into lack of self-worth,
lack of self-appreciation, lack of joy. Then we seek outside ourselves
for validation in an attempt to soothe our low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem means you have lowered your standard to the level of
judgment and falseness of perception and self-condemnation. Those
conditions are present in low self-esteem. In this state, one looks for
approval outside oneself when one offers nothing to be approved of in
their own being. If I do not approve of myself, why should I expect
someone else to? Look to another for approval means one thinks another
is better than yourself. Others are different, yes—different talents,
skills, interests, and so on—but not better.
Krishna gives to Arjuna a way out of the dilemma of feeling worthless in
these immortal words: "Man must uplift himself by his own self. He must
not allow himself to fall from the state of his true being, because he
alone is the friend of himself, and verily he alone is the enemy of
himself."
To follow this guidance requires constant vigilance over your feeling.
In other words, we have to constantly monitor your feelings. Ask
yourself: Is this new feeling for me? If not, how long have I had this
feeling? Wen did I come in life? What experiences do I relate to lack of
self-worth?
When someone speaks unkindly to you and puts you down, why should we
believe someone else’s judgment of us as the truth?
An enlightened being never judges. Instead, he offers counsel and love
and throws the light of understanding on the weakness, such as emotional
confusion, moral turpitude, and mental negativity.
One dealing with lack of self-worth can offer these statements of truth:
o I am Brahman, God naught else but God. I am endowed with all the
attributes of God. I am all the more inspired an encouraged to focus on
those attributes that I may exper4ience and enjoy their supreme
excellence and mind-transforming power.
o I choose to see myself as my Self sees me! My Self can only see me as
It sees itself, for I am that Self. As It is, I Am!
o In the midst of disappointment and pain, I choose to move back into
the feeling of self-love and appreciation with an understanding heart.
• I intend at all times to focus on that which is nearest and dearest to
me within myself and to radiate from that center of love that embraces
me beams of light and rays of love to where the heart makes itself felt
and to the one who in a state of pain inflicted pain on my fragile ego.
• I choose to realize more fully each day that only my ego can be
wounded, never my divine Self or pure heart.
• I intend to forgive myself for the pain I feel by healing it through
self-love and by indulging myself with boundless appreciation.
• I intend to remember in the midst of disappointment and lack of
self-wroth how much I truly have to be thankful for and how blessed I am
with abilities to share with others for mutual well-being.
You who have opened my wound are to me a messenger of God, for the wound
reminds me that God and God alone can heal me of my despair and
self-alienation. God is divine love. By identifying with divine love in
my heart, I practice self-forgiveness and I am made whole. Thus, I can
live and act more fully with a loving heart. This is the way of
overcoming self-alienation, which breeds every form of lack, and the way
to regain my oneness with infinite love.
With the wound I discern a mighty gift, a passionate desire to be
healed, to experience wholeness and well-being. This very desire guides
me to the fulfillment of the desire. If another gives me a wound, what
do I want to give to the wound? Your answer will determine whether the
wound will fester and grow, or whether it will yield to your
self-healing consciousness.
