Q. What is the spiritual solution in an unhappy relationship?
A. There always is a solution. You need to examine the motive of your question and the contributing factors to your unhappy relationship. What is it that is making you unhappy? Is it the relationship, or is it something within yourself? Can you have an unhappy relationship if you are happy with yourself? Please do not jump to conclusions in your response, but ponder the question deeply…because your asking indicates that you are serious about finding the answer.
To have a happy relationship is the first order of business. How do you relate to your body, your mind, your feelings, your experiences? Please take time to write out the answer to each of those specifics. If you encounter any resistance, examine the reason for your resistance. Are you willing to deal with the pain, fear, insecurity, judgment, and disappointments that contribute to your unhappiness? You can do so impartially. This is the way you can let go of judgment and fear. Practice loving-kindness in thought, word, and action. Ask yourself, "Am I practicing loving-kindness in the unhappy relationship, or do I blame or judge the other for my unhappy state?" If blaming the other is the case, ask yourself, "Why do I blame or judge another for the hurt or pain that is mine? Is it possible for me to find the solution to an unhappy relationship unless I first find the solution to my unhappiness?"
Also, ask yourself, "What is the cause of my unhappiness?" Be sure not to go outside yourself to find the cause, for there has never been a cause outside yourself for anything you experience. Whatever you experience is your choice, either intentional or subconscious. You have control over the new choices and intentions you make. It is never by fighting, resisting, or arguing that you can let go of unhappiness, nor is it by blaming another for your hurt and disappointments—unless you insist on giving them power to keep you in a state of helplessness and victim-consciousness.
Are you not really asking, "How can I be happy?" If you can find inner happiness, would you be affected adversely by anyone else? You can therefore choose or offer a powerful intention:
I choose to be established in what brings me joy from within, regardless of where I am or with whom I am interacting. I choose to look for things that connect me with joyous being. I reach for thoughts of well-being, especially when I find myself deprived of loving thoughts.
Instead of focusing on the unhappy relationship, I intend to look for the best in the relationship till I feel good about it.
Offering such intentions will empower me to move beyond the unhappiness in the relationship. If the other party refuses to change, that should be no cause of unhappiness for me because the other party also has freedom of choice to be happy or miserable, with or without me.
Therefore, choose to be happy. By the law of universal attraction, it becomes your state of being, consciousness, and experience.
I am happy for you in finding your way to peace, freedom, and love in all relationships.
