Q. What is the difference between fixing things and helping someone?
A. Someone who wants to help another may really want to fix someone. Anytime we want to fix something in someone’s life, it’s because we are not comfortable with the way things are. We have already judged that they are wrong, and the only way we can feel better is for the other to change, or for the other’s situation to change.
We are trying to feel better, and we think the only way to do it is to change the other. We don't like the other’s dance.
We need to remember the essential nature of the other, their divine essence, and relate to that, not to the appearance. When we relate to the appearance, we react. When we come from the reactionary state, we are not able to see the divine presence, and we are locked into judgment.
If I react, my desire is to fix something or someone because then I’ll feel better. All you have to do is change. I don’t have to change, only you have to change so that I can relax.
In the reactive state we think we must le the other know he or she is responsible for my discomfort. I am using the other to keep myself disconnected from the source of joy by holding the other responsible for my disconnection.
The spiritual approach is to reflect before taking action. Reaction does not come from a place of love. Responsiveness comes from a feeling of well-being. I don’t want to do anything unless I am centered. I have to meditate, I have to step back.
I intend to do what is the most loving thing from moment to moment.
